But keeping a relationship across the miles is not as easy as falling in love. In fact, experts predict that more than half of those who ventured into this kind of relationship failed as early as the third month. Even married couples who are forced to live apart from each other most of the time due to career moves or personal obligations are not exempted from the unfavorable effects of long separation.
However, the remaining percentage who luckily survived-at least up to the moment expressed that any couple who has the strong desire to keep their relationship last despite the distance can beat the odds. As with any other kind of relationships, it's not easy but not impossible.
Here's how:
1. Trust Each Other. Ever wondered why couples who started on the right note ended up singing a bad tune the moment geographical distance set in? It's the "trust" factor. Long distance relationships that are built on trust often outlived their counterparts who did not have this indispensable ingredient. The death of a relationship is often attributed to the lack of trust or the absence of it. Eighty percent of my ten year old marriage was spent in terms of unimaginable distance. Just imagine what could have happened if my husband and I did not trust each other.
2. Enjoy Your Freedom. One thing that couples find hard to cope up with during long terms of separation is the need for intimacy which if not properly dealt with could lead to cheating. The first time I slept without my husband beside me was one hell of a struggle. But eventually I began to enjoy the newly-found freedom associated by his absence. I no longer have to pick up a damp towel that was carelessly thrown on the bed, no one is hovering over me in the kitchen anymore, the TV is now set to just one channel when I watch, no one will force me to join the dining table even if I'm on my own diet program and best of all, no one will wake me up right in the middle of the night just because someone needs to exercise his marital rights. Now with regards to intimacy, how would you maintain it sans the physical aspect? Read on.
3. Keep The Lines Open. Out of sight, out of mind? False. As long as you keep your communication lines open, this paradox will not happen to you. I appreciate the time and money that my husband is investing by placing a call at least twice a week. Keeping in touch in a consistent manner is one way of keeping our intimacy alive. If you and your partner or spouse constantly communicate, you will be forced to talk to each other in more productive ways, perhaps opening yourselves deeper to one another which you may not be able to do when you talk face to face because it's awkward. Surprisingly, you will notice that there is more to intimacy than just making out in bed.
4. Demand and Expect Less. Now you learned the importance of constant communication. But you now demand that your husband or wife calls you everyday in set hours even if you knew he or she can't. Next to nagging, unreasonable demands and expectations are poisonous and most women fail in this aspect of their relationships. Some days, my husband works twelve to sixteen hours so if he fails to call me on a given day I knew he was on the twelve or sixteen hours shift. It's understandable and I don't ask questions unless I wanted to start a fight.
5. Don't Forget Your Sense of Humor. My husband has a lot of this and he complements my more serious personality. Days are not always good, money is tight, the neighbor's dirty and flea stricken dog is in the lawn again, traffic is too slow you could watch a full movie in the middle of the road. These are things that can make a bad day and turn cool heads as hot as the sun. Over the phone, I always fret about these things to my husband. While other husbands might tell their wives to just shut up and stop over reacting which could usually lead to as argument because one party was not heard, my husband just laugh it off and would say, "Sweetheart, don't sweat the small stuff."
For a long distance relationship to work, both party should be committed to build a strong foundation for the relationship to survive and work towards a common goal to make it last.
