So you and your partner met online. He or she is not the typical
next door guy or gal but someone who happened to be in some distant
planet across the universe. After weeks or months of long hours of
friendly chats and exchanged messages you both finally decided it's time
to meet. So cupid crossed the vast oceans to bring Romeo & Juliet
together. After a couple of dates and candlelit dinners your
relationship stepped up to a higher level. But your Romeo needed to go
back and a distant affair began.
But keeping a relationship across
the miles is not as easy as falling in love. In fact, experts predict
that more than half of those who ventured into this kind of relationship
failed as early as the third month. Even married couples who are forced
to live apart from each other most of the time due to career moves or
personal obligations are not exempted from the unfavorable effects of
long separation.
However, the remaining percentage who luckily
survived-at least up to the moment expressed that any couple who has the
strong desire to keep their relationship last despite the distance can
beat the odds. As with any other kind of relationships, it's not easy
but not impossible.
Here's how:
1. Trust Each Other. Ever
wondered why couples who started on the right note ended up singing a
bad tune the moment geographical distance set in? It's the "trust"
factor. Long distance relationships that are built on trust often
outlived their counterparts who did not have this indispensable
ingredient. The death of a relationship is often attributed to the lack
of trust or the absence of it. Eighty percent of my ten year old
marriage was spent in terms of unimaginable distance. Just imagine what
could have happened if my husband and I did not trust each other.
2.
Enjoy Your Freedom. One thing that couples find hard to cope up with
during long terms of separation is the need for intimacy which if not
properly dealt with could lead to cheating. The first time I slept
without my husband beside me was one hell of a struggle. But eventually I
began to enjoy the newly-found freedom associated by his absence. I no
longer have to pick up a damp towel that was carelessly thrown on the
bed, no one is hovering over me in the kitchen anymore, the TV is now
set to just one channel when I watch, no one will force me to join the
dining table even if I'm on my own diet program and best of all, no one
will wake me up right in the middle of the night just because someone
needs to exercise his marital rights. Now with regards to intimacy, how
would you maintain it sans the physical aspect? Read on.
3. Keep
The Lines Open. Out of sight, out of mind? False. As long as you keep
your communication lines open, this paradox will not happen to you. I
appreciate the time and money that my husband is investing by placing a
call at least twice a week. Keeping in touch in a consistent manner is
one way of keeping our intimacy alive. If you and your partner or spouse
constantly communicate, you will be forced to talk to each other in
more productive ways, perhaps opening yourselves deeper to one another
which you may not be able to do when you talk face to face because it's
awkward. Surprisingly, you will notice that there is more to intimacy
than just making out in bed.
4. Demand and Expect Less. Now you
learned the importance of constant communication. But you now demand
that your husband or wife calls you everyday in set hours even if you
knew he or she can't. Next to nagging, unreasonable demands and
expectations are poisonous and most women fail in this aspect of their
relationships. Some days, my husband works twelve to sixteen hours so if
he fails to call me on a given day I knew he was on the twelve or
sixteen hours shift. It's understandable and I don't ask questions
unless I wanted to start a fight.
5. Don't Forget Your Sense of
Humor. My husband has a lot of this and he complements my more serious
personality. Days are not always good, money is tight, the neighbor's
dirty and flea stricken dog is in the lawn again, traffic is too slow
you could watch a full movie in the middle of the road. These are things
that can make a bad day and turn cool heads as hot as the sun. Over the
phone, I always fret about these things to my husband. While other
husbands might tell their wives to just shut up and stop over reacting
which could usually lead to as argument because one party was not heard,
my husband just laugh it off and would say, "Sweetheart, don't sweat
the small stuff."
For a long distance relationship to work, both
party should be committed to build a strong foundation for the
relationship to survive and work towards a common goal to make it last.